It’s December, we’ve fattened up during Thanksgiving, being grateful for the things and people we have received in our life. Christmas, we’re in the throes of giving; extending love, joy, and peace to all. When you think about it, starting new habits doesn’t nearly start in January. These are qualities that we start beginning in November, habits that inspire us how to begin a new year, to extend a grateful attitude in receiving and a generous attitude giving without the expectation of something in return.
That is what networking is all about.
I believe that people, at our core, are inherently generous. If they can help, they will. If they know you, trust you, and like you, they will want to help you. Also, in giving, you open yourself to opportunities to receive when you need it. That is why networking is so important. It’s not just that you need others to get information, resources, or opportunities to help you get where you want to go, but they are looking for people who introduce them to those things as well.
In any relationship there is give and take. The most obnoxious people are those who always seem to be asking for favors and needing something. On the flip side, the most pathetic people are the ones who don’t know when to say “no,” or the “doormat.” They are both impossible relationships to maintain or tolerate. First you have the self-absorbed friend or contact, and the other is the needy, insecure, seeking constant reassurance and value as a person. Both extremely high-maintenance and exhausting. Although they do make a perfect match for each other. They meet each other’s most essential needs, but for the person who is secure in who they are, these relationships are time consuming and constantly laden with expectations and agendas. Run! With the first, at some point, you will start to feel taken advantage of and used. With the second, you will feel that you have to constantly validate the person.
As I said, I believe that most people want to help, but don’t want to be taken advantage of or feel it is a one-way street. We also want to be “open” to receive, but don’t want to feel that we “owe” someone. The right relationships do neither. There is no agenda, no expectation, just that the relationship is reciprocal and non-opportunistic. It’s genuine in both its giving and receiving.
As long as your networking and relationship development is with integrity and your intentions are meant to have relationships with like-minded people who are moving in the direction you want your life to go, it sounds like you have a healthy idea of what networking and relationship-building is. Now bring your networking and relationship building skills up a notch. Find out who they are, what they like, and what their goals and dreams are. You will never be at a loss for moments to give when you can and ask when need.
This could be a really great year for you to meet and develop some really fantastic people. Make a list of what you like and the kind of people you would like to meet and then get out there. Pick up your local city event magazine or online and start getting out there to places you love or places you’ve wanted to try. Sounds like there would be a lot of people who like the same things as you. And, well, that’s a start.
Give me your thoughts on networking and developing relationships. Tell me what you think. Tell me what you think are the most important qualities in relationships and friendships.
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I enjoy watching my network expand as well as the network of others. Each time I visit our monthly networking events I reconnect with people I have met before and sometimes we 'team up' to meet some new people. You never know where your relationships in life will take you or what kind of paths they can help to create – so my motto is to get out there and make some new connections.
Jasmine, Thank you for the great input. I would be curious to know what networks are you involved in? What functions do you get out and attend to expand your circle? Thank you so much for commenting as I continue to become more curious about how my fellow professionals expand their knowledge and skills. Can't wait to check our your website.
Smiles,
Layne
Layne, I am involved with my local IAAP Chapter and have strong connections in the other area chapters as well, each month there is an education program as well as opportunities for all of us to network with one another.
I am a member of the local young professionals group as well as their Toastmaster chapter. I attend the Toastmaster meetings twice a month which has an alternate purpose apart from networking which is to improve speaking/presentation abilities, but of course we are networking there as well.
I step out for chamber events on occasion and attend the monthly mixers held by the young professionals group here. The Vegas Young Professionals also hold unique Big Wig Luncheons one time a month with local executives and Business 101 educations luncheons about various business topics – I try to attend those when I can. It's great to get an executive's perspective on the admin role so I try not to limit my networking to admin-only events. The business 101 events help me to better understand business from other points of view. I am an avid learner and networker and there is plenty of both going on if you are willing to put in the effort.
Jasmine, you are awesome! You are an inspiration for all of us to the different venues and activities that are at our fingertips to get involved in. Thank you so much for sharing.