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I believe there are three qualities, that when cultivated, bring upon a domino effect of other admirable traits conducive to personal development. Courage, self-confidence, and graciousness.

COURAGE
Courage is about standing up for what you believe in. Courage is standing firm when everyone around you is caving in for what you believe is right. It is not about bulldozing over other people to get what you want or to get your way. It’s not about being a bully. Courage is something as simple as doing something that you normally don’t have the nerve to do, but you do it anyway.

I don’t necessarily see myself as extraordinarily extroverted, but am very outgoing and personable with people I know and trust. So it takes a lot for me to approach people and things I don’t know. However, I do think of myself as friendly and approachable. It is important for me to get myself out and commune and interact with people. I’m someone who you will find in the back watching as others engage, but once I’m involved and participating, I lighten up and am able to enjoy a friendly exchange.

It’s about baby steps. Someone who loves to sing, but is aware that they aren’t the greatest singer, a baby step would be to go out and sing karaoke. It’s about courage, taking a leap of faith that you won’t be ridiculed and heckled. And, seriously, I have never seen someone, even really bad, given a hard time for putting themselves out there and sing for everyone to hear. If nothing else, the surrounding crowd will clap and cheer them on. Talk about encouragement! We’re not talking about the prospects of becoming a rock star, but it is definitely one baby step to give you the confidence to take on the next challenge with courage.

SELF-CONFIDENCE
Self-confidence is about knowing what you are good at, you own gifts and talents, and not taking personally or believing someone else’s harsh comments that are only meant to crush you. I have heard it said that many people try to hold down people close to them so they don’t surpass, grow past, or succeed before them. They keep them in their comfort zone. Well, who wants to be comfortable? Who wants to be unchallenged? Who wants to stagnate and stay where they are? And, do you really want to have a relationship with someone who does want to be content with who and how they are?

Self-confidence is not about being arrogant, cocky, or bossy. Those traits actually signal a lack of self-confidence. They are covering up insecurities and worry about being found out. It could be very much unfounded, but have lacked the encouragement and have overcompensated in “puffing” their attitude so they, themselves, will believe it.

Self-confidence has patience that not everyone else knows or can do what you do, and that is a gifted opportunity to teach or guide. You build a reputation and people will seek you out to know what you know. I have heard, start with what you believe your strengths are, grow and nurture them and they will increase exponentially. By focusing on things that you don’t find to be a natural talent, you can become good or even very good at it, but you may find yourself frustrated or exhausted in the process. Doing something you love and find pleasure in, even in the process of the challenges, encourages you to find your greatness.

I consider myself a “work in progress,” ever evolving. That is why I love to learn. Everything is changing at the speed of light. It is not to say I can keep up, but to continually strive to learn and grow with all the knowledge that comes available.

GRACIOUSNESS
Graciousness is about being kind and considerate to yourself and those around you, no matter where you or they are in life. Graciousness is about appreciation. You can find appreciation in your challenges. They push you past who you think you are to something better or to create something better from those circumstances for you and others. Graciousness is about giving because you can.

Graciousness is not about being taken advantage of or being manipulated and feeling used. It’s about finding peace and acknowledging what is good in what is presented to you at each given moment. You are able to let go of the flaws and imperfections and realize that we are all on our own path.

I believe, when cultivating these qualities, the by-product is self-respect and respect from those around you. It’s a process and a journey. We live and learn, make mistakes along the way, and hopefully create the person in us that we desire to be and become.

What qualities would you like to see more of in yourself and/or in others? What could you do today that would enhance a quality you would like to see in yourself? Your thoughts and input are always encouraged and appreciated.

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